Infertility and Faith

There were times when I questioned God; I couldn't see his plan for us. We wanted to start our family. We could provide a good home, with a loving family. This is a righteous desire so why can't we get pregnant?
The first major time I was dealing with feelings like this was after two years of trying to get pregnant. We had just done a round of ovulation treatment and had gotten a negative on the the pregnancy test that morning. At church all the talks were about trials and it just really hit me hard. I had to go out to the foyer I was crying so uncontrollably. As I was sitting there I realized how blessed I really was. No I couldn't have kids, but I did have a wonderful, loving husband. I have sisters and friends who don't have that blessing yet in their lives. So who am I to doubt or complain when I have so much happiness in my husband.
Over time we have come to rely on the Lord and his timing. Just like they say, "Hind sight is 20/20."
Looking back we realize that if we had kids when we wanted to, we would have missed out on so much. We've had the chance to travel and make memories as a couple that has strengthened our marriage and given us experiences we can draw on for the rest of our lives. We got to spend time with my sister before she passed away, that if we'd had kids would not have happened and those are memories I will cherish forever.
This experience has brought us closer to our Heavenly Father. It helps us to rely on his love, his wisdom, and to trust in his timing. It is so comforting to know that He can see the big picture and our path on it. It also brought us closer as a couple. We've been able to understand each others pain as no one around us can.
Infertility is hard. I don't think our friends and family truly realize the pain and stress it causes, or the trials we've had to bear. I don't think you can really understand unless it happens to you. But our Father in Heaven knows our pain and hears our prayers. He offers us his open, loving arms to comfort us and guide us.