I have sat down to write a post at least a dozen times over the last year and a half, but nothing seems good enough. I'm not quite sure what I should say, or how to update anything.
Lets start with WE STILL ARE HOPING TO ADOPT!!
It took a few months to heal from our failed adoption. We still are friends with the mother and it is nice to see pictures of the beautiful baby boy growing up. Some days we still notice the hole in our heart, but that hole just means that we loved.
Things had been quiet on the adoption front until Oct 2015. A girl had been talking to us about adoption. She was due around Christmas and we just thought that would be the best Christmas miracle to bring home a baby. We even made it to the finals; she was deciding between us and another couple. Unfortunately for us she ultimately chose the other couple. There has been other contact with family or friends of women who were considering adoption, but none of those ever panned out. But every year we get our home study updated, hoping that maybe this will be the year.
This past year we also went to a fertility clinic in Utah. At first we were hoping to do insemination (IUI), but it became apparent that in vitro (IVF) would be the only possible chance we would have to conceive. Seven months of giving myself injections in the belly, emotions jumping all over the place, physical pain, stress, and huge financial burden barely begin to describe our IVF experience. Finally in July the doctors we able to harvest 11 eggs, 8 of which got fertilized, only 5 survived the growing period, implanted 2 Grade C embryos (poor quality), and 0 were viable for freezing. Then a month later I miscarried. I'm not going to lie, it was rough going through all of that and still not have a child. Since then we have still been on fertility meds, and we are planning on giving IVF another shot this summer.
Through all of these experiences I am grateful for an amazing husband and the strong marriage that we have. And I am even stronger in my faith of God and his love for me.
